If you want to work on your confidence:
If you prefer to read, here is the transcription of the video:
Today I want to talk about what it is to be feminine. This is a question which I get a lot, and it is something we find a little bit vague. When we feel feminine we know that this is it “I feel feminine”. But if we are not experiencing it right now, if we cannot feel it, it becomes very vague and difficult to grasp.
So for everyone who currently in is not in her feminine state or connected to her feminine side, it feels like my body is alive. This is the first sign for me. If I think about what it is to feel feminine I would feel my body. My body would be fluid and my body would be comfortable. My body would be, would feel better.
Like somehow I do have a connection with my body and not only in my mind thinking and planning and analysing, but my body is present. So this is the first thing I can answer if somebody asks what it is to feel feminine. The first sensation is physical, I can feel my body. It is there. Something is happening in my body. I have legs. I have arms. I am right here, right now. I, I take input from the world outside of me. I smell things. I see, I hear. And I don't just notice them in my mind once my brain has processed them and made certain conclusions out of them. But I noticed that if I smell a flower I will smell it with my whole being like, I will be 100% there tasting the smell or the flavour or seeing the whatever I see around me or hear the noise and I am present. I am in my body. So this is the first thing.
And the second thing is the feeling that I am love. I am a gift to the world. It feels like I enjoy life and I'm bringing joy to the world. There is a certain lightness in the way I feel about myself. And it's not very conscious. It's not something like I'm thinking. It is just the way I move and the way I speak. There is certain lightness in that. There is certain joy in it. And I feel that I am impacting the people around me. It's not intentional. It's just when I'm connected to my feminine, this happens very naturally. I become aware of my body and somehow the power, the strength, all the qualities I have as a woman somehow channel into something very subtle, very beautiful, and I feel I'm a gift. I am here to bring joy, and I enjoy life and I feel beautiful. I was talking to a girlfriend a few days ago, and I said to her, you know, I feel so beautiful because I really do, but then when I see a mirror, there is a certain “oh, okay”. I don't really look the way I feel sometimes. What I mean by this is that even if I don't have makeup, even if I just woke up with I feel healthy, I feel, I feel joyful, and I'm just in my home outfit, I would feel this light that I am and this love that I have in me and I'm sharing with the people around me. And I would feel very beautiful and the moment I see myself in the mirror, there is some kind of disappointment, because, I was feeling much more beautiful than I was actually looking.
And we're touching here upon what is beauty and how it is perceived by others. But I truly believe that beauty is really about what we radiate. And in those moments when I feel very beautiful, but I look at myself in the mirror and I'm like, “Oh, okay”, I see my wrinkles or my hair is not done, or I don't have makeup and my first reaction is somehow to be shocked by the image, which I see because in my in my mind, in what I feel, I feel beautiful I feel like a princess somehow. And then the moment I see myself in the mirror, there is this conflict of how I feel and how I actually look but this is a topic for another conversation.
I hope this is not too vague, but I really try to give as many words to try to describe a feeling. And it's not really easy. And I'm sure that for all of you who currently are in this state, you are already feeling what I'm trying to explain. And when I say “when you are in this state”, it's not something which you keep for months or days or years. Yes, we can be in this state for long periods of time. Or we can disconnect from it for long periods of time. But it's also very easy to go back to it. You know, just when we connect to our body, we are also connecting to the feminine in us.
And therefore, when I'm explaining those things my invitation for you is try not to judge too much. I'm aware that the things I'm saying may sound a little bit vague, a little bit weird, may sound a little bit hippie if you want or you know, like you don't really connect to them. But if you try when you are listening to me and just feel where your body is currently and how is it feeling you will be starting to connect with the feminine in you. And I hope that then my words will make more sense. So this is the answer of the question “how does it feel to be feminine or what it is to feel feminine again”, - connecting to the body and feeling that we a light, like the light of the sun. I bring joy and I am joyful and I have so much love and I'm sharing , and again, this is not conscious. You are not even aware of it, but there is a certain ease and elegance in the way you move, in the way you speak, and certain kindness and softness in in your attitudes towards yourself and towards the others. I believe that so many of us can benefit from feeling like this, towards ourselves and always the others.
And that's why I love what I'm doing, because the work is so rewarding. From somebody who is very much in her mind, like a very busy woman, to actually see how it connects to her femininity and how her face changes, how her energy changes, how her body posture changes. It's like flourishing in front of my eyes and I find this so beautiful and rewarding.
But okay, this is about what it is to feel feminine.
Now, I want to talk a little bit about how do we lose that connection and when we don't feel feminine. The first thing that is hurting our femininity is hits on our confidence. If we are connected to the feminine in us, we feel light, we feel beautiful and if something hurts our confidence, our self-esteem, this feeling of “I'm beautiful, I am love, I'm a gift to the world, I'm here to bring joy and I enjoy my life” is gone . Our ego is so hurt that it's difficult to overcome the feeling of “I'm not worthy”.
And if we take hits on our self-esteem, it's very hard to connect to the feminine in us. And the truth is that most of the times those hits on our self-esteem are caused by ourselves. Not by the world around us, not by the people we are in contact with, but by our own inner talk or by our own stories, which we have been repeating to ourselves sometimes for years, unconsciously. So we believe things which are hurting our self-esteem. And they they make sure that we stay where we are. We don't develop, we don't grow, and we don't connect to the feminine in us.
So the first thing is the hit on our confidence and on our self-esteem. This is the first thing which kills the femininity, the feeling of being feminine. And if you are experiencing any of this, under the video, I will share a link where you can see another video of mine about how to boost your confidence and how do I make sure that it's not dependent on the world outside of me and how to keep high levels of self-esteem. Because this is so important for the way we feel but also for the results of our actions and how we face the world and how the world sees us.
So under the video you can check the link I, I am providing a link for another video about boosting your confidence and self-esteem.
The second thing which hurts the feminine in us, is when we feel stressed, rushed, when we are in a hurry. Then we are so much in our head. The feeling of stress is in my head. I know how many things I need to do and I have to do and I have to finish and I'm so far behind. So basically in our head, we want to be further than where we are. So we are definitely not present. We are not here. We are not right now. And we are in our minds. So we are completely disconnecting from our body. And when we are disconnected from our body, we are not feeling feminine So this is the second thing which kills the femininity and the feeling of I am feminine. You know, if you look at the Western world, most of us, men and women, we are living a life of stress, and of busyness. And this has turned into the norm. Just think about it, when was the last time when you met somebody and, he or she said, “I have exactly the time that I need for everything. I'm not in a hurry or I'm not boards because I don't have what to do.” This is super rare. And being busy and stressed has turned into the norm, but it's definitely not normal.
And it causes a lot of a lot of discomfort in our energy and in our body. And it causes sicknesses. And the scientists are already proving that many of the modern sicknesses people are suffering from, are coming from the stress we are living in. So if this is you and you're very busy. I would recommend using a little bit of your willpower and of your masculine qualities to plan and to stay disciplined, and to put aside time for yourself every day to just slow down, to do something that gives you pleasure, to enjoy a moment, a cup of tea or a conversation with your partner or just rest, read book walk in the park, whatever it is, even if it's half an hour, do something for yourself, for your own pleasure and try to stay connected while you're doing it to your body and how you feel in your body.
This is a way to get away from your stressed mind.
And the third way for us to disconnect from our femininity and to stop feeling feminine is when we close our hearts. And this can happen in different ways. For example, if we are heartbroken, if we had a difficult breakup and we feel too much pain and sorrow or grief and we cannot handle it, we cannot process it, in this moment, many people choose to close their hearts and not to feel anything at all. Other ways to close our heart is when we see people around us suffering. If we are sensitive to other people's feelings. This can cause us to close our hearts because the pain ss too much to bear. I have a friend who is so sensitive that she can sense what people are feeling around her in a room and she tends to stay very often closed because it's too much input to handle from all around her and often this input is heavy. People have heavy emotions and it's difficult for her to handle it, to process it. And if she doesn't know what to do with it, basically it's easier for her to close down. This is what happens to some of us.
And of course, in childhood, there are many cases and very often we choose as kids to close down if we have a family we've witnessed aggression or abuse or we've been object to such aggression or abuse. The pain is so big and the hurt is so much that it creates trauma in us. Emotional trauma, mental trauma on a physical level is a blockage. And now to open up again, we really need courage and we really need guidance from a professional to help us open up again. And even if we did not grow up in an aggressive environment, if something traumatic has happened to us, we may have chosen to close down and do not trust anymore and to keep our heart closed. And when we have our heart closed, basically we choose not to feel and if we don't feel we cannot feel feminine, we operate mainly from our brain, from our mind, and we have this life which is like it lacks colors, it lacks vibrancy. You do what you need to do. You follow your routine. But there is always a certain feeling of something is missing.
These were the three main ways our femininity is cut off. The work with your femininity has a lot of benefits on your health and on the way you feel as a woman in your body and in the way you live your life.
The feeling of freedom, of joy, aliveness and vibrancy can only be present when you are connected to your body, to yourself, to your heart. So it is very much worth spending time and investing time and effort into reconnecting with this part of you. When I'm working, for example, I can completely put aside my feelings, my emotions, my body and focus fully on what I'm doing. I'm planning I'm creating a strategy I'm creating a course. But when I'm not working I remind myself that I need to go back to my body and to be present, because life happens here now and not in our heads. We can all do this! It's all something that is part of us and that we can connect to and it's easier than you think.
The first step is a little bit scary. Maybe, especially if you have chosen to close your heart. But there are gentle ways to reconnect you again to your body.
Thank you so much for watching and for choosing to look into the femininity and hopefully to make a step further and deeper into it so that you enjoy life more fully.