A curious and a less known fact about me…. … is that I was a border police officer for 2.5 years. Can you imagine? A police officer!!! With a badge, a uniform, a gun, a combat training, and law regulations I knew by heart. I was in my early 20s and this was my first full time job. For someone with the wild and free spirit I think I have, this was a pretty serious job.

I used to think that because of this work experience I’ve cultivated discipline and clarity and I’ve built my love for structure and organization. I believed that I was a good leader, because I’ve witnessed some really bad leadership and I have been in a position with only one option – to follow. It was a very masculine environment with no place for nuances, feelings, and creativity.

Anyways, now thinking back about it, I realize that it was not my job that created these masculine qualities. They were part of me long before that.

In first till fourth grade (between 7 and 11 years old) I was the second-best student in my class. There was this boy who was just a little bit ahead of me and I remember being super competitive. I was comparing my answers with his and my scores with his, because I wanted so badly to be the best student. Where was this coming from? Was it part of me all along or did my parents created this need to achieve by rewarding me with happy smiles every time when I had performed well at school?

Oh wait…, I know even an earlier manifestation of my masculine. My father tells me a story that when I was very young, around 2-3 years old, I had a very bad chickenpox. He had explained to me that despite the itchiness, I should not scratch, so that the pimples don’t leave scars. My father shares with a lot of pride that I have never scratched. That I had a lot of will power and strong discipline. Was it because he was in the army and his virtues were imprinted on me or was it who I was? I don’t know.

These were just two of the childhood memories I have about the manifestation of my masculine. Maybe I was just born with strong masculine qualities, maybe I have adopted them from the people around me or manifested them because of the situations I’ve been put in. I don’t know. Most probably it is a combination of all.

Now, I just see it as a fact that my masculine is often predominant and that I spend a lot of time in it.

And that’s perfectly fine.

But we can have so much more than that. We can be strong and also feel in balance, happy, fulfilled, and feminine. We can be soft, vulnerable, responsive, receptive, and loving. We can connect deeply with a masculine men. We can build meaningful relationships and we can have a happy family. And I am the proof of that.

It is not difficult. It is just a matter of priority.

If you need some inspiration on ways to connect to the feminine, check my Femininity Hacks PDF guide.