When we say “I have a bad day”, is it us defining the day or is the day influencing how we feel?
I believe that how our state of mind is, defines the day. But then, why don’t we have more great days? The answer is because of our rigidity!
What is rigidity? We keep on trying to be in control. It is difficult for us to accept circumstances or people taking a different course than the one we have planned for. Instead of accepting what is and adjusting ourselves to the reality, we keep on trying to bend the world according to our idea of it.
Do we really do that? Yes! You can test it for yourself.
Every time when you are unhappy or annoyed, put your detective’s glasses and look for the fact of life that you are resisting. This can be anything: someone’s reaction, an unexpected event, even your own inner voice. The moment you accept what you are resisting and start working with it, your day will flow again with ease and joy.
This is a good way to re-align yourself to the reality = come back to joy after you have felt miserable.
A preventive technique which has been serving me for years, is to be cautious about my internal narrative.
Every time when I hear myself saying “should” or “shouldn’t”, there is an alarm bell ringing in my head.
When we use “should” or “shouldn’t” we don’t take the world the way it is. Instead, our mind is trying to twist it in a way, that it is convenient for us, to better fit our believes or to justify our actions. Since this is a story in our head, cut out from the reality, it always leads to emotional pain and unhappiness.
The antidote of rigidity is agility. This is to be a friend with the present moment (instead of with your idea of how the present moment should be) and to go with the flow. No, it doesn’t mean to be like a leave in the wind and to go wherever the wind blows. You still have your direction. You take responsibility. You make your choices and follow through. You live your life. You do the best you can in every given moment, and you adjust your actions according to what the reality brings to you.
This opens the door for freedom and joy in your day!
You can pursue your goals not with blind stubbornness, but rather with wisdom, integrity, and openness, using the blessings of the present moment and the opportunities and lessons it offers. For this, you need to start using more feminine energy when you are setting and chasing your goals. Patience, perseverance, flexibility, adaptability and trust are important components of the feminine way to pursue your goals and especially for the long-term ones which require weeks, months, years of dedications...
Look at how kids are. They have so many happy days because they take everything as it comes. There is no thought that something should or shouldn’t be a certain way. Emotions come and go. One thing has their full attention. After that, they move to another one. Everything is as it is, and it is always perfect for something.
We can do the same and have as many great days as we want. It is really up to us.
And before the end, I want to share one last tip, to help you win your day - wake up earlier than you have to and have a routine that nourishes you, that gives you focus on what is most important - your well-being! Two resources that can be very helpful to create this super useful habit: