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The qualities that make us feel and look feminine

19 September 20227 mins to read

You are wondering what to do to feel more feminine?

I've made a long list with PLEASANT activities that will nourish your feminine side. If you are looking for inspiration, 'Femininity hacks' will give you a ton of ideas.

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If you prefer to read, here is the transcription of the video


Today I want to talk to you about the qualities that make us feel and look feminine. And before I move into these qualities, I want to make a remark that these are not all the qualities or ways you are attractive. There are so many things which make us attractive which don't necessarily need to be connected to being feminine.

For example, if you're very wild and free, if you are a fan of extreme sports, this can be really attractive. But is not necessarily connected to being very feminine. And there is nothing wrong with being attractive in different ways. For example, if you're very confident, if you come across as a strong, confident woman, this can be really attractive, but again, it's not necessarily connected to being feminine or being perceived as feminine.

It's possible that you are confident and feminine or that you're wild, free and feminine. But now I will focus just on the feminine part. So I made a list with six qualities, six items which are very strongly connected to femininity and being feminine.

  1. The first quality related to femininity; this is our radiance. Radiance is pretty difficult to describe. But I'm sure you've all experienced it. When you feel happy, when you feel joyful and enthusiastic, when something really nice just happened to you or you did something you felt really good about. There is this energy, this light which you are radiating and the radiance has to do with love. You are shining out light, you are shining out energy, warmth, friendliness, enthusiasm, aliveness, vibrancy.

    All this is something we normally carry in our hearts, in our bodies, in our beings. But when we are too much in our heads, we forget about this part. Then we don't really radiate. But the moment we connect to our heart and to our body when we are very present, then in such moment when we are entering a room or when we are interacting with somebody, he or she feels recharged by this energy which we are shining out.

    This is one of our most precious gifts we are giving to the people around us, and especially to the man in our life. So, our radiance is extremely recharging for everyone around us and a little secret: this is the fuel for men to make money. So, if you are with a partner and you would like him to make more money you need to make sure that you are radiating more of the light and love that you are, towards him.

    So the first gift or quality or attribute to the femininity and to being and feeling and being seen as feminine is being radiant.

  2. The second one is grace. Grace has multiple levels. For example, related to movement. How are you moving? Smooth or sudden? And I'm not talking about being slow, but about having a smooth movements, you know, like having a grace in in the way you move. So the movement is one of the parts where we can notice grace.

    Another part is our speech. How are we talking to ourselves, but also to the people around us? Are we kind? Are we respectful? What words are we using? Like a lady, a feminine woman would not curse. If you hear a woman cursing, no matter what you thought about her and how feminine she seemed, the moment she starts cursing, you can scratch feminine. She does not feel feminine in this moment, and she is not perceived as feminine anymore.

    So how we speak to ourselves and to others has to do with being graceful and being feminine.

    Graceful is also noticeable in your posture. When you are not moving, do you keep your back straight, your shoulder relaxed and your chin up? If you have a straight posture, you will be perceived as graceful even if you don't talk or move. So how do you place your body when it needs to stay still? This is another sign of grace.

    And the last attribute to grace are our manners. And the manners are how we behave, how we interact with others, and how we manipulate different objects. For example, I can have a plate with French fries in front of me, and I can very cutely take one French fry and put it in my mouth.

    This can be very attractive because it's cute because I'm confident enough to ignore how people see the fact that I'm eating with my hands. This can be very playful or daring, you know, like eating with your hands, can speak about many things which can be very attractive but is definitely not feminine. So if you're working on your femininity and want to feel feminine and be seen as feminine, your manners matter.

  3. The third one is mysteriousness. Being mysterious means keep something for yourself, and this can be related to the way you look. So how much you reveal from your body how much you are saying? Are you saying everything you're thinking about? Or do you keep a little part for yourself? Do you have a little time for yourself? What are you doing in that time for yourself? Are you sharing it with everybody? Do you have your small little secrets? And I'm not talking about artificially creating secrets or mysteriousness. It's just about we have so many layers when it comes to us as human beings. But women, especially when it comes to our sensitivity, to our emotionality, to the thoughts we have and the things we are doing if we just keep some little parts for ourselves.

    This makes us much more attractive and more feminine. An example of somebody who is very feminine and shows this mysteriousness is Monica Baluchi. And in her way of being, at least on the pictures or videos, she's warm, she has the feminine posture, the graceful movements but there is a part of her which stays hidden and this makes her more mysterious and more attractive and more feminine. So, the third item is being mysterious or being perceived as mysterious. It is keeping a little bit of what is happening in your inner world for yourself.

  4. The fourth attribute or quality connected to femininity is clean, like being clean, feeling clean. Actually, clean is maybe not the right one. Maybe it's more like maintained and maintained in the sense of taken care of, of putting attention into the way we look and we feel and mainly our body.

    And there is no template to which we put on all women. It means to be maintained. Each of us has her own way to feel maintained and to maintain her body and her look. It can be massages, it can be facial, it can be haircut, can be make up or nail polish or particular style of clothes, whatever it is, it needs to feel natural to you. It needs to feel beautiful to you, but the outside world needs to perceive it as you're clean, like you paid attention on how you look. These are the two things. Somebody who seems and feels neglected will not be perceived as feminine. And again, this can be sexy and attractive in a different way. But when we talk about feeling feminine and being perceived as feminine, being clean and maintained is a big thing.

  5. Then we move to the fifth one. The fifth one is softness. And softness could be connected in a way to the grace. But there is also warmth, compassion, kindness… they are all connected somehow to this softness, an attribute of the feminine.

    In the Netherlands, where I live, many women are perceived to be hard. And of course, we all use a lot of masculine energy to go through our To-Do list and take care of all the responsibilities we have.

    But if we lose the balance, if we don't have anything in our day to connect us to our feminine side, the masculine qualities and the hardness, stay with us. And they impregnate in our interactions. Also outside of work, in our contacts, with our family, with our friends, with our partners. So, when we want to feel feminine, we need to connect to the softness in us.

  6. And the last attribute to the feminine is being relaxed of being calm and not in a hurry. It is the opposite of being stressed and rushed and sudden. It's really like being relaxed and enjoying, being present in your body, in your heart and interact from this place.

And all those attributes are attributes of the femininity, of you feeling more feminine and being perceived as more feminine. Just like I’ve mentioned at the beginning. This is not the only way to be attractive and to feel attractive. You can be very confident or perceive the strong woman and successful woman to be very attractive, or you can be very wild and free and this can also be very attractive. Or you can be very nonchalant and daring and, you know, like challenging the rules, this can also be very attractive. So, all those ways, they are valid ways to be attractive and to feel attractive, but they're different from being feminine.

The recipe to be attractive is really to be yourself, to be authentic, to find your way to be in this world, to really show who you are. Because we are all unique and we all have our beautiful gifts. And when we are authentic, when we respond to the world in an authentic way, we actually attract the right partners in our life.

But if you want to feel more feminine and be perceived as more feminine, then you can work on the qualities I am talking about in this video. For example, if you're a very busy woman planning a little bit less in your agenda and counting for more relaxing time, the moment you relax and when you have some slack in your agenda, you won't be that much in a hurry. And when you are not in a hurry, you will be more relaxed and you will come across as smoother and less sudden, which would automatically bring more grace into your movements and into your interactions. And will show your natural softness around the people you are interacting with.

Those qualities and those attributes are all interconnected. But it all starts with work on yourself. See who you really are, and try to shine this out to the world. Share your gifts with the people close to you. We are all so unique and so beautiful. And the moment we are comfortable with who we really are, this is shown. This is felt by everyone around us. And this makes us really attractive.

Thank you for watching.

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