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What is your essence feminine or masculine?

24 January 20224 mins to read

If you prefer to read, here is the transcription of the video:


In this video I am going to offer you an interesting way to get to know yourself a little bit better and to understand whether you have a feminine or masculine essence.

You know that we all have both feminine and masculine sides, feminine and masculine energy. And these feminine and masculine sides show up in the world as different qualities. When we are in our masculine we are more focused, more determined, we have clarity, we are able to analyze a situation, to put aside our feelings. When we are in our feminine we are more going with the flow, we are enjoying, we are able to receive, we are sensitive, we are intuitive, we are more social... And we use these qualities in different parts of our day, but what not everyone is aware of is that based on which side of us we are connecting to, our heart has different needs and it is longing for something different.

When we are connecting to the masculine in us, our heart is longing for purpose. So our heart will be fulfilled and we will be fulfilled if we know what our purpose is, if we follow this purpose and give our gifts to the world. This is when we are connected to the masculine energy in us.

When we are connecting to the feminine energy in us, what our heart is longing for, is love. We want to receive, we want to be filled up with love, but not only. We basically long for connection, to be seen, to be recognized, our heart to be claimed by somebody. Somebody to see us better than we see ourselves. If we feel lonely or if we are with someone (doesn't even need to be our romantic partner) and we don't feel connection, the feminine in us suffers because we are communicating but our heart is not nourished by that.

These are some of the general distinctions between feminine energy, masculine energy and what our heart is longing for based on whether we are connected to the feminine or to the masculine.

But how do we know what is predominant in us, what is our essence? Is it the feminine or is it the masculine? Let me give you this fun way to know this.

Imagine that it is your birthday and this year your birthday falls in the weekend. You are a woman and you have a partner who is a man. Your man comes to you and says "Babe this weekend is your birthday and the gift I have for you is a romantic weekend on an exotic destination. What you need to know is that we will be back on Sunday at 8 o'clock, you have 1 hour to pack and you need your bikini and an elegant evening dress". This is a scenario 1. My invitation for you is to come back to this scenario and feel does this feel like a gift to you? Does this feel special for you? Does this nourish your heart?

And I am giving you a second scenario: It's your birthday and your birthday falls in the weekend and your man comes to you and says "Babe, this weekend is your birthday and my gift for you is ME. You can do everything you want with me. We will do everything you want. I will follow every wish you have, every desire I will make it happen and it will be your weekend, you are deciding what and how and when and I am not going to question it". This is scenario 2. Feel into this scenario. Does this nourish your heart? Does this feel like a gift for you?

Let me dissect the two scenarios:

  • In the first one, if you have a feminine essence you will feel like "yes!" he has organized something for you. It's a surprise and you don't have a saying. You are just following him. He guides you, he leads you and he commands you to your pleasure. If you have a feminine essence, this is extremely nourishing. If you have a masculine essence, though, this first scenario will be very frustrating. You will have thoughts like "I don't want him to say what we will do. I want to have a saying as well. I don't want him to lead me. I am the leader." Even if you don't have this precise narrative, there is a part of you which will rebel a little bit against the fact that he has organized everything and you just need to follow.

If we look at scenario two, and if you have a feminine essence and he tells you that he is your gift and you can do everything you want together this weekend, your heart will shrink. You will feel something like "he didn't have a better gift for me. this is not really a gift. I don't want to decide what we are going to do. I don't want be leading. I want to be led". You will be disappointed. And if you have a masculine essence, this second gift will feel really like a gift. He will do everything you say. This s a paradise for someone with masculine essence. You determine, you decide. It is really up to you. You lead and he follows.

And it's not wrong with either of those scenarios and whatever your essence is, is perfectly fine, but just tune in to see which of those scenarios, which of those gifts, feels more like a gift to you and this will tell you more about what your essence is - feminine or masculine.

Whatever your essence is, just accept it and try to connect to this essence more often. If you have discovered that you have a feminine essence, something which will recharge you throughout the day, especially if you have busy day is go back more often to the feminine in you. Doing feminine activities and practices and just resting more. Go back more often to the feminine energy, because this is your essence. This is what will recharge you with energy and will give you a feeling of being more fulfilled and happy. If you have a feminine essence but you don't go back to your feminine energy during the day and you are very much in your masculine, constantly focused, constantly doing many things, many responsibilities, you don't have time for yourself, you don't rest, you don't recharge yourself, this will worn you out. You will feel more stressed and tired. Having a feminine essence, but staying too much in your masculine is dimming the light and love that you are and will make your life much more dull and grey.

My invitation is, accept what your essence is and come back to this essence, to this part of you more often.

Note: These two scenarios as a way to determine your essence are originally thought by David Deida.

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