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For the working women

4 Steps to feel in control of your life again

28 March 20226 mins to read

If you prefer to read, here is the transcription of the video:


Are you tired of stretching yourself to the max? Trying to keep up with the speed of your life? Not being able to find time to rest, time to enjoy and time for yourself?

If yes, keep on watching. This video is for you and I am going to give you the steps to take back control over your life. I can very clearly notice on myself how at the moment we are getting into autumn, I start to have this need to snuggle on the couch with blanket and a cup of tea, that I need to take more time to rest, that I need to slow down, that I need to take better care of myself, to eat more warm, nourishing food and just to enjoy more my inner world, the indoors of my home and I am really lucky and grateful that I can afford that. I can slow down. I am making time to recharge and take care of myself. And I feel very sad when someone around me keeps on running on the hamster wheel, feeling like “I don’t have a choice. I have so many responsibilities and things to do. I cannot slow down. (not even talking about stopping. For this person even slowing down seems impossible).”

I observe someone really close to me, living this life feeling like she doesn’t have a choice. Basically she doesn’t have control over her life. She is constantly behind, constantly trying to keep, stretching herself to max, just to show up everywhere where she is supposed to and it hurts me to see this.

In this video I want to get you steps on how to get out of this hamster wheel and how to find time for yourself and how to take care of your own needs.

What if we fall sick or if we don’t have any more energy? We cannot take care of the people we love, we cannot do the things we want to do and we need to do. So we are our most important priority. We need to take care of our own well-being, before we are able to take care of others.

Probably you’ve heard before, but it is truly crucial that we choose ourselves. I will give you few steps which are simple, but profound and they work really well if you follow them.

These steps are applicable if you feel overwhelmed by all your responsibilities and by all your tasks, if you cannot slow down and if you feel you are running to catch up with your life, where you don’t feel alive, you feel like you don’t have a choice.

Here are the steps:

  1. The first thing has to do with being overworked. The feeling of overwhelm comes to a big extend from our work. Not in all cases, but in most cases work is taking more time than planned and is giving us extra stress than what we are already having in our life. Hence, my first step is related do work – Decide when you are going to stop with work. At what moment of the day you will stop working? Whether this is 4 o’clock, or 5 o’clock or 6 o’clock, based on when you’ve started and how your normal working hours are, decide when you will stop AND STOP! And no matter how difficult it is, even if you are in the middle of something, set an alarm for yourself and stop when you’ve decided that you will be stopping. To get more comfortable with this, it is good idea to inform your colleagues and your boss that for the coming period, they cannot count on you working overtime and putting extra effort, especially when it comes to the time after office hours.

The moment you try this, you might feel a little bit guilty, a little bit uncomfortable, especially if your colleagues are still working, but please, remind yourself how important it is to take care of yourself. This way you will be more productive and more successful at work and at the other things you are busy with. The moment you start doing this, you will free up some time for yourself. You will notice that you have few hours extra a day or a week, which you used to spend working, and now are free.

A big mistake is to fill up those hours with something, something like “I want to make this delicious and very complex dinner for my family” or “I was thinking about starting a course about investing and now it is a good moment, because I freed up some time for it” or something you have been postponing, like cleaning up closets. So step 2 is

  1. The time you have freed up out of not working overtime, don’t fill it up with new activities. Don’t fill it up with new responsibilities and new tasks. This is a bonus time. This is a time for you to rest. This is a gift for you and choose how you are going to spend it wisely. Choose something which will nourish you, which makes you feel special, beautiful, something to help you rest and rechange. This can be taking a warm nice bath or being on the couch watching a girly movie with popcorn, or reading a book.

Whatever it is, take a moment to recharge yourself. Whatever feels good to you, but not a chore, not something from your ToDo list, not something which someone expects you to do, not something which you expects yourself to do, but really something which you want to do, something which you are looking forward to. And take this time for yourself.

  1. The next one is Go to bed early. And I am not saying “Go to bed on time”, but “go to bed early”. This can be 10pm, or 9pm, whatever early is for, but really go to bed at least few hours earlier than your normal going to bed time. Take the time to sleep, take the time to rest and recharge yourself. Because the next day will be very different if you wake up replenished with energy and with good mood and with creativity. And this happens when we have enough sleep. And in the days which are getting longer and darker, it helps a lot if we have good amount of sleep. We actually need to sleep longer than during the summer. The energy in nature and in the environment around us is changing, so it is very suitable to start sleeping longer.

I know that we never have time for it, but that’s why it is one of the important points here.

  1. The number 4 is Wake up earlier than you need to. And this is one of my personal favorites. Actually, if you want to feel in control of your life, you need to feel in control of your day. Because your life is the total sum of all your days. By waking up earlier, you are actually already taking control over your day. Why? Because if you wake up because your kid is awake, or because it is time for you to get ready and go to work, you wake up and from the first moment you feel “I need to do this or that” and you start rushing. You are reactive to the circumstances of your life and of your day.

If you choose to wake up, even if it is 15 minutes earlier, this is your choice and those 15 minutes you can spend on whatever you like. It doesn’t need to be preparing the breakfast for your kids or getting ready for work. You can just sit, read, watch the sunrise, or meditate, or prepare a nice cup of tea for yourself or a nutritious breakfast, or exercises or take an extra long shower…whatever you like, but this is really time for yourself. If you start your day not because you need to start it, but because you are ready to start, you are ahead of time, you are ahead of your responsibilities, you are ahead of your ToDo list and you’ve already taken care of the most important thing in your day – YOU and your needs. You are already starting your day a little bit slower than this rushing mode we are used to.

I promise you, if you follow this, you will very quickly feel the benefit of being more relaxed and enjoying more your life. But when you follow these steps, you don’t feel guilty. You need to remind yourself that you deserve this and this minimal care you are giving yourself is actually nourishing your heart, your energy and after that you can give much more to the people you love and the things you are doing. It will make you much better, much more successful at everything else. Just take the time to take care of yourself.

So what are the steps again:

  1. Decide when you stop working and stop working then, no matter what
  2. Take the extra time which you have created to nourish yourself. Don’t pick up more responsibilities, don’t start new courses, don’t get busy with chores to help yourself for in the weekend. This time you’ve gained is for you.
  3. Go early to bed, ridiculously early, if you want, but recharge finally this battery. Because most of us, we don’t sleep enough and it feels so good when we have 8, 9, 10 hours of sleep. Why not?
  4. Wake up earlier than you need to. This can be 15 minutes, this can be an hour. Make this first moment of the day, a moment for you. Something which helps you feel good and replenished with love and with energy. I hope this is helpful. Thank you for your time and for your attention!

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