One of my favourite topics is the balance between the feminine and the masculine. The feminine is energy, love, fulness, form. The masculine is awareness, consciousness, emptiness, formless.
From an esoteric point of view, the feminine and the masculine are two parts of a whole. They deviate in characteristics and separate tiny little bit, just enough to create tension between each other - polarity, which births the present moment and each of us.
In nature, the feminine and the masculine are naturally balanced. You have the yin and the yang, the day and the night, the inner and the outer, expansion and contraction etc…
However, when it comes to humans, our free will, plays a role in our feminine and masculine embodiment. The balance is not guaranteed.
If you look at the modern woman, it’s not difficult to notice her superpowers. She is working really hard to meet the impossible standard set for her.aa as a mother, lover, wife, daughter, sister, housewife, career woman, business owner, and friend. We are paying attention to our looks, we read, we learn and we grow. We find time to do sport and to have social life…, all while balancing sleepless nights and tending to our child(ren) with a fever….
Most women, in order to manage all their countless roles and responsibilities, are predominantly living life in their masculine energy. However, as a feminine being by design, this can manifest deteriorating health (raising rates of inflammation in the body, chronic stress, burn-out, fertility and reproductive issues), mental and emotional dissatisfaction (exhaustion, depression, loneliness, anxiety, self-doubt, low self-esteem, lack of fulfillment and missing zest for living) and broken (or lack of) intimate/romantic relationships.
Spending more time in your feminine energy and finding a healthier balance between the feminine and the masculine, is key for feeling vibrant and alive!
What do I mean when I talk about balance between the masculine and the feminine?
The balance between your intention and your ability to surrender.
This means setting goals, ideally by tuning into what your heart truly wants and using perseverance and patience to achieve them. However, you need to balance this with being grateful for what the Universe sends you. It might not be in the form you intended or expected, but it is always exactly what you need to take the next step. Having the wisdom to welcome and embrace the gifts of the Universe is possible when you start holding lightly to the precise idea of how achieving your goal looks like.
So, in order to surrender, you need to feel safe, trust that you are where you are supposed to be, and soften your intent.
The balance between your sense of responsibility and your belief that you deserve rest, joy, happiness and “me time”.
One of the clearest signs that your polarities are in balance, is your ability to prioritize your well-being above everything else. In the different seasons of life different areas require your attention, whether it is your career, romantic relationship, children or the health of your loved ones. However, none of these should take your full attention for more than a few days. The best way to tend to everything and everyone important in your life, is to take care of yourself first, pay attention to your needs and desires and fill your own cup. (Many women find this difficult and selfish, which often indicates a deeper mother wound.)
If you’ve mastered this balance, you will fulfill your responsibilities without exhausting yourself, knowing that you’ve done what you had to do, without crossing your own boundaries or making compromises toward what is important to you.
The balance between your masculine and your feminine gifts
The way I see it, the key is to use a combination of the feminine and masculine in any given situation and area of life. For example, can you…
- Set a goal (masculine), by checking in with your heart to see what it truly wants (feminine)?
- Pursue your goals with determination (masculine), but also with patience, trust and the ability to adapt to what is, to the ever-changing reality (feminine)?
- Create a well-being routine for yourself (feminine) and stick to it (masculine)?
- Organize your time effectively (masculine), and also leave some slack to slow down and allow spontaneity (feminine)?
- Ba a leader (masculine), using your intuition, wisdom and ability to connect to people (feminine)?
- Set clear, firm boundaries for your children (masculine) and communicate them with love, allowing space for and recognizing the emotional reaction they trigger in your kids (feminine)
- When driving to work be fully focused on the road (masculine), but also be relaxed, kind and tolerant to other drivers (feminine)?
- Go to the groceries store with a ready list of items you need to buy (masculine), and also look around for interesting promotions to diversify your weekly menu (feminine)? This balance is not difficult to achieve. It is a matter of having grace for yourself and openness in your agenda.
The balance between doing and being.
Finding a balance between action and rest is crucial to living a fulfilling life. One way to achieve this balance is by dedicating work-free days every week and non-negotiable resting moments every day. During these moments release any expectations or obligations you may have, and instead focus on enjoying life in a way that feels right and pleasant to YOU!
To bring more feminine energy into your daily life, here are my top 10 tips for the modern busy woman:
- Create space in your agenda, day, and life for the feminine to unfold. If you feel tired and exhausted, you are doing too much. Cut 30% of your planned activities.
- Use the extra time you’ve freed up to rest, take care of yourself and do things that you love. The more you practice this, more comfortable you will become with it.
- Establish a daily femininity routine, ideally in the morning, for 10-15. This could include journaling, intuitive dancing, yoni egg practice, dry body brushing…or anything else that resonates with you.
- Create rituals out of pleasant activities that nourishes you and breaking up long periods of using mainly masculine energy. For example, take 15 minutes every afternoon to enjoy a cup of tea or take a walk in the park after work.
- Choose a job that you love, and that brings you fulfillment and joy. If you are simply surviving your workday, you cannot immerse yourself in the flow of feminine energy.
- After work, take time to disconnect from your day and connect to your feminine energy. This could mean having a relaxing bath, going to a yin yoga class, playing music and dancing freely, or meeting up with a girlfriend.
- When interacting with someone, be present, stay open, listen, feel into them and connect through your heart.
- Don’t take yourself too seriously. Stay playful, spontaneous and authentic. Flirt with yourself and with life!
- Celebrate every little win or milestone. Focus on what goes well and use gratitude practices to relax and trust that everything will fall into place.
- Surround yourself with happy women and create an environment of love, care, support and laughter.
I know that it doesn’t always seem so, but you have the power and wisdom to build your life according to your values and priorities. Don’t give away this beautiful opportunity! Even in your busy day, find a moment to reconnect with your feminine energy and bring more light into your heart and to the people you love and the world.
The Goddess Portal
This blog post has been published in the book "The Goddess Portal: Divine Feminine Wisdom Codes for Modern Maidens, Mothers, Queens, and Crones".
It is a BESTSELLER book for the modern woman, written by 35 extraordinary women. It is diving into the profound realms of the divine feminine and women's wisdom. It is a work of art, meticulously crafted with captivating stories and insightful perspectives that can uplift and empower. It is an embodiment of femininity, healing, and personal transformation.