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What you need to know about men with more feminine energy?

8 July 202210 mins to read

As a strong woman who spends a significant amount of time in her masculine energy, my guess is that you have experience attracting men who are often in their feminine energy.

What are the signs that your man (or the men you are attracting) is mostly operating out of his feminine and/or is not connecting to his healthy masculine energy?

Check the list below and please, note that sometimes it is only one or two things that you will recognize:

  • He is not the main financial provider nor a provider for your well-being, safety, comfort and pleasure
  • He is very comfortable receiving and allowing you to take the lead
  • He doesn’t have a sense of purpose, whether this is his career or something he is doing on the side
  • He requires more emotional support than you. Emotions are often affecting his behavior
  • He needs a lot of attention and you need to make sure that he feels seen and validated
  • In his presence you don’t feel that you can relax nor surrender
  • You don’t trust his lead and you are the one taking most of the decisions
  • You feel that you need to be in control and do the important things yourself

Watch the video below to learn how to break the vicious circle of the reversed polarity.

Also, I have a small addition that can give you extra insights about how the wounded masculine manifests. Make sure to check it out below the video!

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Here are the blog posts I am referring to in the video:

Important to add:

The wounded masculine in men can be manifested in two ways:

  1. With overall dark and extreme manifestation of the masculine: Dominance, violence, excessive need to control, the need to always be right and to have external confirmation of his power, emotional unavailability, lack of (self-)trust
  2. By disconnecting from the masculine and instead, hiding behind a feminine shell (it is just a projection, an armor, not his authentic feminine): Overly sensitive, emotionally unstable, lack of direction and will-power, inability to stand his ground, to set boundaries and to face a challenge, difficulty to focus, to commit and to feel grounded In both cases, a man with wounded masculine often experiences a sense of inadequacy, insecurity, and a lack of self-worth. He has a strong fear of deep, vulnerable and authentic connection and he is not able to support the growth of his partner.

If you are attracting such men, chances are that your feminine is wounded. Self-work, coaching and attention on reconnecting to your authentic feminine are key for you and for your (future) relationship(s). However, this won't replace the need your man to address his own wounds and to reconnect to his conscious, healthy masculine.

If you prefer to read, here is the transcription of the video

Hello, my name is Mariya Spasova and I'm a fulfillment strategist and a femininity coach. Today we're going to talk about men with more feminine energy. What is important to understand is that all men and women, we have feminine and masculine in us, and we are all born on the spectrum of the feminine masculine on a particular spot of balance.

So if the left side is the feminine and the right side is the masculine, most women are born on the feminine side. But how much to the left, and in what proportion to the masculine, is unique to each of us. And the same with men. Most men are born on the right side of the spectrum, with more masculine energy. But how much to the right and in proportion to how much feminine, is very specific for each person, for each man. Closer we are to our essence, to the proportion of feminine/masculine we are born with, happier we are.

If we put aside our essence (this particular spot of balance between the feminine and the masculine we are born in), what influences a whether we are connecting stronger to the feminine or to the masculine?

There are two important factors.

  1. The first one is what we have experienced so far in our life, especially as children and as teenagers, and what we have learned for the feminine and for the masculine.
  2. The second one is the season of our life we are in and the choices we are making in our day to day life.

And I'm going to explain both those factors that influence whether we are spending more time in our feminine or in our masculine.

When we talk about our past experiences. Imagine a boy who is growing up with an abusive father. This boy has naturally more masculine energy. He's born a boy, a future man. So he's naturally more strongly connecting to his masculine energy. However, his father is abusive and drinking. And every time when this boy connects to the masculine, to the clarity, to the direction which he has innately in him, he gets punished by his father, whether it's with a slap or with a punishment, whatever it is. The father feels threatened by the masculine energy of the boy. And what this boy learns is that it's not safe for him to use this energy. He gets much more attuned to his feminine energy and learns to be attentive to the mood of his father, in order to adapt his attitude based on how the state of his father is. In the case of this boy, his masculine energy has been wounded. He has learned that it's not safe to use it and instead he creates a shell around his heart, around his masculine energy, and he starts using more often his feminine energy.

So this is an example of a boy who has wounded masculine energy. And if we look at an example of a girl, imagine a girl whom who has parents who are very ambitious. And this girl naturally around the age of three, four or five, she likes everything, which is princess-like: tiaras and big sparkling dresses, princesses, unicorns and girly things which are very, very natural for the feminine in us.

She likes to feel seen and beautiful. She starts using the makeup of her mom. She wants her nails painted. She likes to dress up a few times a day with different dresses. This is an expression of a healthy feminine in a girl this age. But imagine that for her birthday, her mom, instead of giving her the new dress, she's dreaming about, tells her “You have enough dresses. Beauty is good. But is much more important is to be smart, intelligent, to be successful. You have talents which you need to develop.” And she gives her an encyclopaedia. And this girl actually stays with impression and feeling and understanding that the masculine is superior to the feminine. Because the most important person in her life, her mother, who is also her example of the feminine in her life, prefers and values higher the masculine, the intelligence, the use it of the mind and actually the sparkling feeling and the beauty and the light that we as women are, which is emanating from our heart, gets wounded.

So the feminine in this little girl is wounded and she creates a shell of masculine. This girl will go for achievements and for success. She would feel that her parents are most fulfilled and happy with her when she brings good grades. So it's not about who she is, how she is, how she loves, what her gifts are, but how much she's loved and appreciated starts being linked to her success and her achievements.

In this case, we have a woman (she will be growing into a woman) who will hide behind her success and behind her achievements, and it will be harder for her to connect to her feminine because she has been valuing the masculine higher.

So this is the first factor where our past experiences and what we have learned about the feminine and masculine actually shape how much we connect to the feminine or to the masculine.

The second factor, that influences how much we connect to the feminine or to the masculine is the season of our life we are in and the choices we are making. For example, if currently we are graduating and we are working on building a career, really starting our professional life, we put a lot of effort in there to be seen as professionals, into learning professional habits, into being successful in the work field. Naturally, the habits which we are building and we are creating are more connected to the masculine. The lifestyle we start living is more connected to the masculine. So in this season of life where we are building career or building a business, often we connect stronger to the masculine.

And the opposite, if we are in a stage of life where we are building a relationship, where we are in love, or where we are getting pregnant or we are pregnant. Now, this is the moments which naturally, in the majority of cases connect us stronger to the feminine.

In any case, the choices which we are making in our daily life define how much time we are spending in our feminine, and how much in our masculine.

Because even if we are building a business or a career, with a regular feminine routine or with rituals or habits to connect us back to ourselves, to our bodies, to our heart, we are balancing the masculine energy we are spending so much time in during the day and we are able to stay connected to our feminine.

So this is what I wanted to share about the essence. We are born in this particular spot of balance. And then what are the two things which influence how much time we are spending in our masculine and feminine, and how strongly we are connecting to the feminine and masculine in us despite our essence.

And now let's look deeper into the men with more feminine energy. We will look again into two scenarios. The first scenario is when the man who is connecting strong to his feminine energy is doing it because his masculine is wounded. So he does not connect to healthy, strong, masculine energy. But he is actually hiding behind the shell which he has created and to his feminine energy.

If you are attracting such men in your life, or if you are in a relationship or with such a man, this means that your feminine energy is wounded as well. It's important to understand that we really attract our opposite. So if you are attracting a man with wounded masculine, your feminine has been wounded. And this video can be a good invitation for you or a reminder to look into yourself and to think about what could have hurt your feminine.

If this is the case, what have I experienced as a child which has made me turn my back to the feminine? I will link below this video to a blog post of mine talking about the feminine wounds and how they have been created. Maybe this will help you discover when your feminine has been wounded.

So if you are attracting men with a wounded masculine, you need to look into your feminine.

The second scenario is if currently you are in the state of your life where you are connecting stronger to your masculine and the choices of your day to day life, bring you to your masculine. Then again, you will be attracting men with more feminine energy.

The choices you are making could be, to be overly busy, to have too many responsibilities, to not dedicate time for yourself, to not rest, to choose, work over, nourishing yourself…, basically put the responsibility in front of your well-being.

If you are making those choices on a daily basis, if your achievements and successes are more important than how you actually feel as a woman, you are spending more time in your masculine energy and you're attracting men who are connecting stronger to their feminine energy. Again, the power is in your hands. The moment you start connecting stronger to the feminine energy within you, you will start attracting men who connect stronger to their masculine energy and deeper you growing your femininity stronger men you will attract in the in your life.

And if you're currently in a relationship, you will support your man to connect to his masculine energy.

No matter which of the two scenarios you are in, whether it's the wounded energy, or it's the stage of life and the choices you are making, in both those two scenarios, you are the one who can change them. You are the one who needs to connect stronger to her feminine energy so that you can support your man to connect stronger to his masculine energy.

I have a blog post about how to support our man connecting to his masculine energy with practical tips and ideas on how to do that. I'm going to link to it under this video as well. And when I talk about you connecting to your feminine energy, this really means find your own ritual and your own routine. Create a little bit of space during the day for yourself where you really get attuned to your heart and to your body.

I have a really useful list with pleasant activities which can help you boost your feminine energy and connect you stronger to it. You're going to find it below the video as well.

No matter which of the two scenarios you are experiencing, whether your man is connecting to his feminine energy because his masculine is wounded, or maybe because of the choices he's making in his life or circumstances in his life, for example, maybe he just discovered an artistic talent he has and he's now exploring it, or he has lost somebody dear to him and he's emotionally too shaken by this. And his logical mind and masculine direction currently are not working. This is all related to the season of his life. So in both cases he brings to you gifts, even if they're the gifts of the feminine.

And those gifts could be a listening ear or having a deeper conversations connecting stronger on emotional level. And if you are in your masculine energy and he is in his feminine energy, you are creating strong polarity and sexual attraction, which is really important for your relationship.

I'm speaking here from experience because I can connect strongly with my feminine energy, but also with my masculine energy and I have a man who can a very skillfully switch between the feminine and the masculine. We have moments when I am leading in the relationship, when I define the direction and he's more following. And we have moments when I am relaxing and surrendering and he's the one on the pilot's seat. So it's beautiful to recognize that each of us has those feminine and muscular and gifts. And it's not about the man being constantly in his masculine and the woman - constantly in her feminine. It's more about staying attuned to each other, recognizing the gifts which we give to each other and we bring to the table and play like a dance with each other.

Thank you for your time!

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