Blog post by: Brooklynn Smith

Jealousy is such a killjoy for friendships. If we’re not careful, it can sneak up on us and destroy beautiful years of close intimacy with our besties. Most of the time, we aren’t conscious of this emotion. We don’t mean to be jealous of that one friend who got promoted to her dream job. Or when she falls in love and enjoys being wooed by her new boyfriend. No, we love our friends. We want the absolute best for them! I would do anything to bring a smile to my best friend’s face.

But why do we get jealous sometimes? Well, first off, it’s normal to feel jealousy now and then. Just like feeling sad, angry, or happy are normal emotions, jealousy is just another color on the

spin wheel. Handling this emotion shows a commitment to making sure your friendships blossom and stay nurturing. Here are some tips to help!

Identify Your Why

Figure out why you’re jealous. Jealousy is a projection of what we are lacking on the inside. This isn’t something to feel ashamed of. Again, it’s perfectly normal to feel jealous. What isn’t okay is to ruminate on it. Try reflecting on WHAT triggers you. Are you annoyed with your friend for being carefree and whimsical? Maybe that reflects a fear of rejection in you. Maybe you’re afraid of being seen and noticed because, deep down, you don’t feel good enough. It’s okay to feel these emotions. Write them down in a journal. Meditate on them! Whatever you do to bring it to light, try it!

Raise Your Self-Esteem

Being jealous could be a sign of low self-esteem. As they say, confidence is key! Take account of all of the things that you’re good at. Don’t diminish them. We’re all unique! I found that when I tried to be someone that I wasn’t or dress like my favorite celebrity, it made me insecure about my body. But honing in on what makes ME feel good shines outwardly in my mannerisms and self-image. If your friend looks stunning in pink, but you look fantastic in all black, then double down on it! Do what maximizes your confidence! Comparing yourself to others only stifles your own inner beauty.

Talk It Out With Your Friend

Express your feelings with your friend. Have that discussion with love and trust as the foundation; try to avoid blaming your friend for how you feel. Remember that your friend hasn’t done anything wrong and that jealousy is an inward battle for our self image. Let your friend know that you admire her and wish to feel her same level of control, energy, or happiness. You don’t want to BE her; you just want that similar glow that she carries. Staying honest in any relationship builds trust and closeness.

At the end of the day, we’re going to have moments of jealousy. What’s important is HOW we handle it!