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The trap of being (wanting to be) his first priority

30 January 20232 mins to read

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If you prefer to read, here is the transcription of the video:

Hello. My name is Mariya Spasova, and I am a fulfillment strategist and a femininity coach. Today I want to talk to you about the fact that many women want to feel that they are priority number one for their men. This desire is very natural for us, as women. The moment we connect to our femininity and we feel our feminine heart, we notice that there is a deep longing to be seen, to be appreciated, to be recognized as light and love.

We want the man we are with to see how precious we are, to make us feel special. And we want to feel that we are important for him. This is all really natural and the thing is that many of us go further into it “I don't just want to feel this way when I'm with him. I want to be the most important thing in his life.”

And ladies, this is a trap. And we need to pay attention to. The masculine heart is longing for freedom and is longing for purpose. So the moment the man, the masculine heart, the man is not following his purpose, there is emptiness. There is something missing in his life. His heart is longing to give his gifts to the world, but he doesn't have a mission. He doesn't have a purpose.

So when he starts dating you and you are in a relationship and he puts you in the center of his world, basically his masculine heart is not fulfilled. He is not following his purpose. He puts you in the center. And even though at the beginning you might like this, you might feel special and important, over time you will notice that you will start losing respect for this man, that you will stop trusting this man because he doesn't follow his inner masculine direction, but he follows you. He's waiting for you to text him, to text back, or for you to want something to give it to you. He's not challenging you. You are not growing together. You are in the center of his world and you might feel special, but very quickly this will get boring.

So what is a much better place for us as women in the life of our men? It is being on the second place and this looks like this: your man has a goal and has his purpose. He is doing something which gives him fulfillment and he is sharing his masculine gifts with the world. And this is what he does. This is what keeps him preoccupied. The moment he's with you, whether this is few times a week or every day, when he's with you, he gives you his full presence and he shares his masculine gifts with you, and he sees you as the woman you are.

So don't aim for being number one in his life in general, a much better and a healthy and a sustainable relationship, also for the polarity between the two of you, for the sexual attraction between the two of you, is if he is in his masculine and he's following his purpose, his goals and he's doing the thing which really makes him happy and fulfilled.

But when he's with you, he's with you only. He is not on this phone. He is not thinking about his work. He is fully present, and this is the much better position to be than if you're in the center of his life.

I'm curious what you're thinking about that. So comment on that.

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