Let’s be honest.

Intimacy and sexual attraction after having children can feel like a completely different world — and not in a good way.

You love your partner. You're building a life together. But somehow, amidst the chaos of school pickups, spilled juice, work deadlines, and sleep deprivation, the spark you once felt can start to flicker.

It’s not that you’ve lost love. It’s that you're living in a different season — one that requires you to be in completely different roles than before. You’re a mother now. A caregiver, planner, emotional regulator, family CEO. And while you wouldn’t trade your child for anything, these new roles come with a cost: the energy and space you once had for playfulness, sensuality, and spontaneity can disappear under a mountain of responsibilities.

But here's something no one talks about:

Sexual attraction after kids doesn't look like it did in your twenties — and that's okay.

It doesn’t come from him walking out of the shower or wearing a crisp suit to dinner (although those things might still do something for you!). No — now it hits differently. It’s when he folds laundry without being asked. When he steps in with the kids and lets you catch your breath. When he’s lying on the floor, playing with Legos, giving you just five quiet minutes to drink a hot cup of coffee alone.

That? That’s foreplay.

Yes, it’s lovely to have long, lazy Sundays in bed with your man or a weekend away to reconnect — and if that’s available to you, enjoy it fully. But for many couples, that’s simply not realistic very often. I won’t judge it — I don’t have a babysitter either, and it's only a few times a year that we ask my in-laws to take care of the kids so we can have real quality time, just the two of us.

And here’s the secret:

To maintain intimacy and keep the spark alive, you don’t need days. You need moments. A warm word. A kind attention. A loving touch. A playful smile. That’s what builds connection. That’s what keeps desire alive.

Foreplay doesn’t begin in the bedroom — it begins in how you show up for each other all day long.

It’s the beauty of seeing him not just as a man, but as a father. A teammate. A protector of your peace. And in those moments, something in your heart softens. Your body remembers. You want to move toward him, not away.

But attraction isn’t just about what he does.

It’s also — and perhaps even more so — about what you allow yourself to be.

Because here’s the truth: for intimacy to feel alive again, polarity must exist. That electric dance of masculine and feminine energy is what fuels connection. When we, as women, are constantly in "go-mode" — planning, fixing, doing, managing — we’re stuck in masculine energy. There's no space for softness. For mystery. For desire.

That’s why reconnecting to your feminine energy is non-negotiable.

And I don’t mean just wearing a silk robe or lighting a candle (though both can be lovely!). I mean dropping back into that space within you that knows how to receive. The part of you that’s radiant, playful, magnetic — the part that remembers how to be held, not just needed.

Your feminine energy is your superpower. It’s what makes you magnetic without trying. It’s what lets you say “I need…” without guilt, and “no more” without apology.

It’s the Queen part of you that has high standards and speaks clearly, without nagging or manipulating.

And it’s the Innocent part of you too — the one who can still giggle, still trust, still melt into his arms and feel safe enough to be soft.

Because feminine energy is not weakness. It’s strength in its most beautiful, surrendered form.

So if you've been feeling more like a to-do list than a woman lately, I want you to know: there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re not broken. You’re just disconnected from the part of you that fuels intimacy — the feminine.

And when you reclaim her, everything begins to shift.

Your desire starts to return — not just for him, but for life. Your confidence deepens — not because you check all the boxes, but because you feel good in your own skin. And your relationship? It feels lighter, flirtier, more alive again.

Yes, motherhood changes everything. But attraction after kids isn’t lost — it’s just asking you to meet it in a new way.

You don’t have to choose between being a good mom and a desired woman. You get to be both.

And it starts by coming home… to you.